I like beer. This is no secret and I live next to Arcadia which is the redneck mecca of SW Florida which means our bars tend to do crazy things (like have nickel drafts from 5-8 on Tuesdays) to bring in a crowd. The crowd gets drunk and stays well past 8 and keeps drinking but with the beers shoot up to $4 a pop.
I had about 35 or 40 cents worth of beer and was dancing on the teeny tiny dance floor with my new boy toy (I really shouldn’t call him that he’s 29) when a rather attractive blonde asked to cut in. I shrugged (it’s not like we have matching tattoos) and offered the hottie my boy. She smiled at him and then grabbed my hand and started dancing. It stumbled me a moment but I am all for hot chicks hitting on me so I danced with her while my boy shook his head and went back to the table housing my friends to be razed by them and offered sympathy from one and apparently drunken words of wisdom that somehow amounted to, “Ava gets the hot ones, don’t ask us how.” Thanks Deana *note sarcasm* but my boy did take that as a compliment.
While I’m dancing with unnamed blonde hottie a rather drunk man tried to get between us. I rolled my eyes and sidestepped him, pulling her with me. (I’ve gotten good at dodging assholes in clubs) As I was turning back to her I hear, “Fuckin’ dyke,” and I know I didn’t hear him wrong ‘cause hottie’s eyes widened.
So kinda drunk Ava turned back to the rather imposing asshat and asked, “Are you jealous cause my dicks bigger than yours?”
For a moment, blank confusion, before realization dawned and I swear I watched it wash over his face and he offers me this smirk like he’s got the cleverest damn retort and says, “Prove it.”
I returned with, “I’d love to but where are we gonna get a magnifying glass this time of night?”
Again it took him a moment and then a vein in his forehead began doing the mamba and he swung. I kid you not the asshat swung at me! Thank the Gods he was drunk cause it was easy to dodge and he put enough force in it to spin him around when he missed so I kidney punched him back. Now don’t get me wrong, I may be uber tall but I’m stick thin (just ask Demona) but I was so pissed that the asshat swung and couldn’t help myself. My guy friends were there after I hit him in a nanosecond and pulled the idiot to his feet. Apparently a kidney punch really hurts. *shrugs* Ask me if I care?
The bouncer threw the drunk redneck out and since no one but the hottie and my friends saw me hit him (I highly doubt anyone else would have believed it) I got to stay but we left soon after anyways and without me getting the hottie’s name or number, *pouts* of course the boy probably wouldn’t have been too pleased with me picking up chicks on our date. *innocent smile*
So that was my Tuesday night. I got into a bar fight and won. *beams* Go me!
BTW: Lisa I have your story well and truly beta’ed I just want to read through it once more and I’ll email it to you tonight.